For Him
by descentofthedoppelganger
Summary: So this is my take on things for the 100th episode alittle bit of Brennans and Booths point of view. Please read and review.


_Just A quick oneshot on how they were feeling and what will happen, im sure alot of people are dissapointed with the outcome but hopefully things will work out. Isn't that what avalon said? (: So i hope Hart knows what he's doing because both you and i know Booth and Brennan belong together and hopefully we'll see that they will. Well anyway i might alter it a little bit to make it better. But please review it will make me smile. And you know i need that after that ending! Thanks for reading. And remember please, Review._

**Disclaimer: I do not own Bones.**

For him

"I hate psychology." she said quickly as they descended the steps from Sweets office.

"I'm the gambler…" he realized. "I believe in giving this a chance," he took two steps closer to her. "I want to give this a shot."

He watched her expression go from amusement to something panic stricken.

"You mean us?" she questioned, fully aware of the coming answer.

He just nodded.

"No the FBI won't let us work together as a couple-" she started, shaking her head back and forth.

"No don't do that! That is no reason-"

He stopped short and pulled her into his arms. His lips moving with hers. He kissed her with pent up passion, trying to let her feel his emotions through that kiss. She almost continued to kiss him, almost gave in to him. Almost.

"No! No!" she yelled, hitting his arm away.

She was so desperately trying to ignore the emotion bubbling up to the surface. Trying to ignore the way kissing him just felt right.

"Why? Why?!" he pleaded gripping her arms tightly and pulling her a little bit closer to him.

"You- You thought you were protecting me but you're the one who needs protecting."

She hated it but it was true.

He didn't understand. He was an FBI agent, what would he need to be protected from. He was the one who did the protecting. White knight syndrome, Sweets had called it.

"Protecting? From what?"

"From me. I-I don't have you kind of open heart." she replied tears forming in her eyes.

_From her?_ he didn't understand.

"Just give it a chance. That's all I'm asking."

"No. You said it yourself. The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting a different outcome."

"Well then let's go for a different outcome. Alright- just hear me out, alright. You know when you talk to older couples who have been in love for thirty or forty or fifty years? Its always the guy who says 'I knew'…I knew. Right from the beginning."

"Your evidence is anecdotal." she reasoned.

"I'm that guy, Bones I'm that guy. I know." he pleaded.

He was desperate to make her see, to make her realize what they could be.

"I-I am not a gambler," her words cut him, he was losing her. "I'm a scientist. I cant change. I don't know how," she looked away from him a single tear carving a path down her cheek. He almost went to swipe it away but found that maybe she didn't want him looked away trying to control the sob that was threatening to break through her lips. Then she met his eyes again, telling him the utter truth and nothing more. "I don't know how."

He backed away tears stinging his eyes.

He bowed his head in an attempt to hide his sorrow but she could still see it.

"Don't look so sad." she pleaded. She couldn't stand seeing him like this. She hated herself for being the cause of it. But she knew that it would all work out for him in the end.

"You're right. You're right." he told her defeated.

Her eyes locked with his as he came to this realization. She didn't love him.

He was the gambler, he had put himself out there and it wasn't enough.

He looked away to somehow beat back the tears blurring his vision.

She told him the truth, that she was protecting him but she doubted he believed her.

He looked at her and explained how he had to move on, find someone who would love him for thirty or forty or fifty years. But he knew it was only a false hope. He knew from the moment he set eyes on her.

She replied with a simple. "I know."

He had no idea how much it hurt her to say it, how much pain she felt thinking of him with his arms around another woman.

He could never truly move on because he found his soul mate; the one he wanted to be with for the rest of his life.

He mulled that over, he wondered if he could still work with her after tonight. Watch her pull away from him while he continued to love her from afar. Watch what they had disappear?

But when she'd asked, he couldn't refuse. Nomatter how much pain he might be going through he couldn't refuse her. He loved her. He knew deep down he would rather work beside her as partners then never see her again. The mere thought caused him physical pain, more then he was already dealing with.

He gave his heart to her and she declined his offer, his love. He knew she'd always have it. And he asked himself, _how can I move on when I have nothing left to give?_

She leaned into him and grasped his arm trying to hold on to what she let go. Just for a moment, before they said their goodbyes.

He'd hailed a cab for her and she'd barely made it inside before she fell to pieces.

Now here she was in her apartment clutching herself, tears cascading across her face.

She kept reassuring herself that she'd done the right thing. It was the rational thing to do. That was what would carry her through the pain, through the emptiness that was sure to follow.

The fact that this was for Booth's benefit.

Even if this cause her immense pain, even if she had to smother her desires, she would do it.

For him.

Because he deserved more.

He wanted a commitment, someone to love him for all those years and although she allowed that she might possibly be able to, what about a family and marriage? All the things he deserved, things she couldn't give him.

He needed a woman that would be there for that long, bare his children and marry him. She knew he would love to be a father again, the way he was with parker he'd probably have more then that.

And as much as she hated to admit it, the woman he found would be better then her.

Not because of her intellect or social ties but because she could provide Booth with these things. She could give him a family and decades of love.

When she said she was a scientist, that she couldn't change because she didn't know how, she wasn't lying. And she really wished she could be what Booth needed, be good enough for him. But in fact she wasn't.

And yeah maybe he'd want her now, but later when he realized the sacrifices he had made he would resent her. Resent her for what he had to give up because of her. And everything wouldn't matter anymore.

When Booth moved on would she be able to sit back and watch? Even attend his wedding? She had to, because sometimes loving someone meant making sacrifices for their happiness, she knew that. She'd known since the moment she rejected him.

So yes to all, she would have to sit back and watch and be there for him when he found the real woman of his dreams. When his feelings of love for her were nothing more then a memory. And all she could do was bask in dreams of what could have been.

Every time her will power was shaken she would remember her premise. She would remember the reason she rejected him in the beginning, to ensure his happiness.

She would find a way to get through it.

She knew the hardest part would be to watch him go. To watch as he slowly grew distant and no longer needed her, when she would always need him.

She wondered what would become of her.

Would she go back to the life she previously led, before Booth came into her life?

No. She could never go back, he had altered her too much.

And for that she was grateful. He had brought something in her to life that she didn't know existed.

She would always love him, nomatter where their lives took them.

She knew her life would revert back to the emptiness she had been used to.

A life with no purpose.

She would continue to enter empty relationships to satisfy her biological needs, it wouldn't end.

Because it was all she knew how to do.

She would never come close to what they had.

Besides Booth, she had never let anyone so close and she never would again.

So she had done the right thing.

If not for her atleast for him.

And that was what mattered most.


End file.
